Books

Penguin Publishing advises men on holiday to keep the fantasy books at home if they want to pick up the chicks.

Sex and relationship expert Tracey Cox said: "On a beach, with so little on, a book can tell you far more about someone than their choice of swimming trunks or a beach towel. Pick a classic and woman will swoon at your sensitive nature."

Do you think the fact that Penguin publishes more classics than fantasy novels has anything to do with this advice? Anyway, since there aren't any beaches within 678 miles of here, it's a purely academic matter for me, but I really want to find these women who get aroused by Dostoievsky and Yeats. I don't think they're living in West Texas.